Barely Legally

Confessions of a Moot Court Bailiff

Tiny Tots Taught Terribly, Toppling Top-Tier Trajectories

Manhattan mom sues $19K/yr. preschool for damaging 4-year-old daughter’s Ivy League chances:

Nicole Imprescia yanked 4-year-old Lucia from the York Avenue Preschool last fall, angry the tyke was stuck learning about shapes and colors with tots half her age - when she should have been prepping for a standardized test.

[…]

Imprescia’s court papers suggest the school may have damaged Lucia’s chances of getting into a top college, citing an article that identifies preschools as the first step to “the Ivy League.”

Your first instinct may be to construct a doomsday device and crash the Earth into the Sun, preventing future generations from withering under such stupidity. However, there may be a pretty solid false advertising action, if the school claimed to structure their classes one way and actually structured them another way. If that’s the case, a refund doesn’t seem like the worst remedy in the world.

Of course, if the claim is bizarre tort like “interference with intellectual hypertrophy of toddler,” that might be a little bit more strained.  Read the rest of this positively riveting tale at NY Daily News.