Archive for the ‘Irreverently Irrelevant’ Category

Defendants Gone Wild

The guy who made those really sleazy “Girls Gone Wild” videos, which at one point seemed to comprise half the ads on Comedy Central after midnight, has an interesting closing statement for his assault and false imprisonment trial:

I want that jury to know that each and every one of you are mentally f–ing retarded and you should be euthanized […] if that jury wants to convict me because I didn’t show up, which is the only reason why they did, then, you know, they should all be lined up and shot.

Actually, he was already found guilty, and he made these remarks (and more!) to a reporter in an interview before his sentencing. I’m reminded of that hacker who did an AMA on Reddit the night before his sentencing, wherein he declaimed his lack of remorse and general lesson-learning that I think judges probably like hearing. Prosecutors […]

Sponsored Posts

Last week, The Atlantic ran an ad from noted Anti-Xenu enthusiasts Scientology, before being ridiculed for taking money from crazy people, and ultimately pulling the ad from their site. I guess some of the uproar was about taking money from people who’ve been accused of running a cult, or possibly some perceived ambiguity of the term “sponsored post” (what do you mean ‘a word from our sponsors’ NBC? do you believe the Dodge Dart is the #1 car in America or not help i’m so confused). Whatever. Post went up, post went down, and The Atlantic issued an apology.

But not before noted internet institution Boing Boing took the opportunity to lampoon either the outcry, the original ad, or Scientology itself. I’m not sure:

The driving force behind this unparalleled era of growth is Cthulhu himself, who is not only a cosmic entity of inordinate and terrible […]

BWAAAAM BWAAAAAAM BWAAAAAM

This is the coolest name for the coolest and scariest piece of software I’ve seen in quite some time. Inception: a program that you run on your computer, and then plug your computer into someone else’s locked computer. Inception then breaks into the other guy’s computer. How? By being insanely awesome/scary:

Inception’s main mode works as follows: By presenting a Serial Bus Protocol 2 (SBP-2) unit directory to the victim machine over the IEEE1394 FireWire interface, the victim operating system thinks that a SBP-2 device has connected to the FireWire port. Since SBP-2 devices utilize Direct Memory Access (DMA) for fast, large bulk data transfers (e.g., FireWire hard drives and digital camcorders), the victim lowers its shields and enables DMA for the device.

The tool now has full read/write access to the lower 4GB of RAM on the victim. Once DMA is granted, […]

Top 15 Phrases Used During Commission of Fraud

How can you tell if one of your employees has committed fraud, and is currently considering covering up their misdeeds? According to a new study published by accounting firm Ernst & Young, apparently you can start by searching for the phrase “cover up.” No, really. Here are the top 15 phrases:

Cover up Write off Illegal Failed investment Nobody will find out Grey area They owe it to me Do not volunteer information Not ethical Off the books Backdate No inspection Pull earnings forward Special fees Friendly payments

I thought this was fake until I saw Ernst & Young’s name pop up eleven times on Wikipedia’s article about accounting scandals. They must be experts at this kind of thing. Via Quartz.