Barely Legally

Confessions of a Moot Court Bailiff

Abnormal Use on Christmas

Abnormal Use is one of my favorite legal blogs, because they cover products liability cases. If your chainsaw falls apart mid-tree and decapitates your lawn gnomes, or if your car’s GPS tells you to drive off a cliff and you somehow think that’s a good idea, you and your bizarre lawsuit will end up on Abnormal Use.

Their Christmas coverage is pretty fantastic, too. Here’s Steven Buckingham on the classic (if being played for 72 hours straight once a year means it’s a “classic”) movie Miracle on 34th Street:

Written and directed by George Seaton, and starring Maureen O’Hara, John Payne, Edmund Gwenn and a young Natalie Wood, the 1947 film is ostensibly a Christmas classic, but really, it’s a cinematic exploration of some of the worst legal malpractice I’ve ever seen.

But please, Steven, tell us how you really feel!

Let’s start out with the most glaring mistake / “legal strategy”: The state calls Santa to the stand. Kringle’s lawyer does not invoke the privilege against self-incriminating testimony. In fact, he waives it while boldly proclaiming, “We have nothing to hide!” Trust me, guy, you’ve always got something to hide. In your case, it’s the fact that your client assaulted the shrink. You might want to sweep that under the rug. Luckily, because the state phoned its performance in, Santa gets away unscathed.

Read the rest at Abnormal Use. And remember, the only thing worse than suing Santa is suing Santa and losing. Merry Christmas!